good morning good morning!
Welcome to my weekly Friday newsletter! Lots of personal updates (again) today, but we'll be back to normal programming in a few weeks after I take this break I'm about to impose on myself :)
It is a new moon in Aries today — so make time for yourself this weekend to reflect and set intentions for the month to come. I follow this Lunar Abundance guide if you want more info. Regardless of moon cycles, making time on a regular basis to reflect and set intentions is the surest way to achieving success on your own terms.
We have hit over 200 subscribers in our squad!!! TBH my goal was to hit 10k subscribers in 2018 — which was just absurd considering my work schedule — so we're a tad under goal ;) but I am truly just as ecstatic and doing a happy dance around my flat about hitting 200! I am grateful for each person that has opted in and know that you are here and reading right now for a reason.
My goal is to make this as inspiring, insightful, and useful for you as possible, so you can live your best life and take steps everyday to turn whatever your dreams may be into your reality, just like I'm trying to do.
My goal is also to be as realistic and transparent as humanly possible. I continuously find social media and travel blogs to be such a mind fuck highlight reel. I know how hard these people are hustling behind the scenes (just like I am), but my mind still plays the comparison game and gets insecure and jealous. So as much as I will share the exciting adventures I'm about to go on with you, I will share the hard work, failures, anxiety, and heartbreak that happens through it all too. [Note that it is never coming from a place of complaining — I understand how ridiculously lucky I am and remain eternally grateful for the problems that I have.]
So... that includes sharing about another emotional rollercoaster week, with a lack of content below again because I've been depleted and checked out. I wanted this first freedom week to be framed as super perfect / exciting / carefree — but it's not and I won't put up a facade that it is.
I've been having trouble accepting it, but I am legitimately burnt out from these past three really crazy emotional years since my divorce, two years traveling nonstop around the world for my job, and one year of relocating my life in London.
I need a big break, and I'm officially giving myself one now so I can survive and succeed long term. I can't help anyone else or make an impact in my community if I don't take care of myself first. Same goes for you too, take care of yourself xo
It is surreal that this is my first week not working full time in an office in 11 years! That also means I have eight weeks left living in London — but I can't even handle processing that right now, I moved here one year ago and it's excruciating to think about leaving.
I really love not having to be in an office, but it's still an odd feeling not having to work, and I keep wondering how my global team is doing (I may or may not have visited my London team in the office already) ... #HelicopterExBoss LOL (even though I know they wouldn't skip a beat because #goalcrushers #100club4life — sending you guys all the good vibes!) :)
I was completely overwhelmed by my whole situation and lack of a plan and had a panic attack on Monday (not quite how I imagined my first day off going...). So I took a step back, determined what the very bare minimum I could do to survive was, and spent the rest of the week focusing on self care.
Massages, facial, manicure, pedicure, hours of daily meditation, carefree dancing, climbing on roofs to watch the sunrise, writing, late night painting, sleeping in until noon, watching the sunset — I even binge watched an entire season of a Netflix show (first time in a decade!)... it's been glorious. I'm finally starting to understand why I've been recommended this whole "relaxing" thing all along ;)
I'm not exactly sure what this "big break" means for me right now — I just know I can't make anyone any promises at this point until I get my shit together. I've been staying off social media for the most part, and may break from these newsletters for a few weeks while I go totally wild and rogue (in Scotland - keep reading!), rest, and regroup.
I still don't have enough emotional energy to respond to emails / DMs / etc, so again thank you for your continued patience on that front. I look forward to catching up with everyone eventually, and when I respond I want to have genuine, enthusiastic conversations, and I just won't half ass that with you guys.
I have been journaling and writing incessantly on a daily basis, so will have lots to share about going through this process once I make it out the other end. There is SO MUCH I want to do, from traveling to writing to career mentoring to building out my website to social media management to volunteering — the lists are endless, trust me — but I'm all over the place and have no clear direction. So it's finally time to rest and let the magic and miracles come flowing in.
Fuck, that part was long! Thanks for sticking with me. Luckily this next part is short AF — here's what I got for you this weekend to hopefully help you in creating your best life:
WHERE I'M TRAVELING
- In the past I've been a control freak that over plans everything and leaves no room for spontaneity, magic, or miracles. I've worked hard to release this tendency in the past three years. So I made no plans for my last two months living in London... and lo and behold... a bucket list miracle opportunity popped up last minute and as of 6AM in the UK today I am on train to Edinburgh and embarking on a Scotland road trip!
- I met Bill Smith on my expedition to Antarctica 2.5 years ago and he has made a profound impact on my life. Bill has this magical cottage that sits somewhere up in the top of Scotland overlooking the North Sea in a World Heritage Geological area that I've been dreaming of exploring since November 2016. I've stayed in touch with Bill and he has become a mentor of mine — and when he had a rare last minute cancellation, he offered it to me! With no job I now have the freedom to buy a one way train ticket to Scotland, so << Test First Name >> you're damn right I did it!
WHAT OTHERS ARE WRITING
BOOKS I'M READING
- Month #4 of 2019 and I'm still on book ZERO out of my goal of 50.
- Oh well, only so much I can do, and I know I'll get back into the reading flow soon enough when the time is right.
- How are you doing in reading books this year? Please LMK any recommendations!
YOUTUBE VIDEOS I'M WATCHING
QUOTE I LOVE
- "Just keep a clear mind, go straight ahead, try, try, try, for ten thousand years." — Soen Sa Nim
You are good enough.
You are smart enough.
You are talented enough.
You always have been.
You always will be.
Promise me you'll do something that makes your heart really happy this weekend :)
P.S. If you have any questions for me or feedback for future editions, don't hesitate to hit reply and reach out. I am curious what you think about these way longer [emo] intros right now with everything going on?
P.P.S. It would mean the world to me if you forwarded this newsletter to a friend that would find this info helpful or inspiring too! (New folks can subscribe here!)
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