hello hello you wonderful human xo
You're reading this right now because you are building out your bestest, happiest, most authentic, and successful-on-your-own-terms happy life. I'm doing the same thing. We're all in this together.
Life is certainly a rollercoaster ride, and we need to remind ourselves not to compare our tracks to someone else's. Even if they are the same gender, age, went to the same schools, were born in the same country, etc... and especially not if they're a random person that looks perfectly edited in their Insta feed! You never truly know what battles someone is fighting internally, so be kind, and also remind yourself of that whenever you start comparing your life to someone else's.
A reminder today for you and for me that we are never too old, and it is never too late. For anything! Learning to accept and love ourselves for who we truly are, especially as we evolve, is key to growth in self-discovery.
A recent example of this is something in my life that I have not shared with you yet...
It's time to come out that I am bisexual :)
It's such a relief to type that and send this. No fear anymore. All pride in my heart.
I will eventually be writing and sharing more about my journey, but I felt that sharing this with you my newsletter crew first would be a good first step in opening up.
I am so lucky and feel so grateful to have the most loving and accepting family and friends β I appreciate each and every one of you for support and loving me through this past year.
The only one that's been holding me back is me. But everyone has their own journey with coming to terms with themselves and I love and accept mine for what it is.
There is a difference between privacy and secrecy, and I have chosen to exercise that. I have not shared much about my relationships or dating on social media since I got divorced almost four years ago. I can choose to keep my private life and relationships private and I don't owe an explanation to anyone.
But it's weird now. I'm out to all of my family and best friends, and almost everyone in my London life... and now I can't remember who knows what back in the States and I feel weird posting certain quotes or pictures because I haven't been public about being bisexual and dating women. And right now the longer I live my life this way and wait to say anything, the bigger the secret weighs on me. The anxiety has been relentless and suffocating... and I'm the only one that can release it.
Again, it's my choice what I share, but I do choose to share my life in my writing, on social media, and in these newsletters, and this has now turned into a significant part of my life that I am omitting.
As we all know, suppressed feelings have their way of coming to the surface eventually, whether we like it or not.
I've had feelings for both women and men for as long as I can remember, but I just never really knew what that meant (it was different growing up in the 90s!), so since I also liked boys, I stuck with boys because that was safe. But my feelings for women were always there, in the back of my mind and heart.
The past few years since I left my (now ex) husband I have started to release my need to be safe. Safe kept me wrapped up in my own fearful projections, obsessed with meeting societal expectations, and delusionally attempting to be or feel normal.
Moving to London 13 months ago was a major turning point in my life. I completely uprooted my decade long life I had built in NYC, and decided to just fucking go for it.
So now here we are :) I am happy and free. I'm good with me. It's taken me 32 1/2 years to get here, and I am proud AF of myself. Let this crazy beautiful rollercoaster ride continue!
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...
I just celebrated living in London for 13 months... and now I'M MOVING BACK TO THE USA IN ONE WEEK! THIS IS THE LAST NEWSLETTER I'M SENDING FROM LONDON!!!
I am 50% absolutely devastated, heartbroken, shattered, destroyed to leave my friends, partners, travel opportunities, home, and life in London.
I am 50% completely overjoyed, elated, looking forward to coming home to Philadelphia (suburbs), and being surrounded by my family, best friends, familiar home base surroundings, and community network.
Total mind fuck, right!? I am so torn, but I still feel very lucky to feel this way and have so much love for my global family across the world. I'm making the most out of every moment I have left in London and taking it one day at a time.
Next newsletter (probably 5/31) I'll be sending this from my parent's house in the USA! See you loves on the other side.
Below is the latest list of links that I'm referring to so I can build my best life one intriguing article, video, and Netflix special at a time:
WHERE I'M TRAVELING
- It has been eight weeks since my last flight. This is the longest I've gone without being on an airplane in three years! And honestly, albeit surprisingly, it feels good. I have been majorly burnt out, suffering from permanent jet lag, and needed this big break.
- I have been making the most out of my final funemployed 55 days in the UK, and am eternally grateful for this time. Check out all the progress I've been making on my London bucket list!
NETFLIX SPECIAL I'M WATCHING
- I couldn't more highly recommend watching Brene Brown's Call To Courage on Netflix β my sister Jaclyn told me I had to watch it and it served as a powerful, funny, moving wake up call.
WHAT OTHERS ARE WRITING
YOUTUBE VIDEOS I'M WATCHING
- Full Moon in Scorpio happening this Saturday, May 18th! Watch Sarah's Moon Magic video to learn more about how you can work with the energy this weekend.
- I really related to this TEDxOshkosh Talk by Misty Gedlinske and think it would be insightful to watch if you have questions about my above update β Bisexuality: The Invisible Letter "B".
- Georgia Bridgers is one of my favorite YouTubers and her Coming Out video was so sweet and playful β she has been an inspiration to me in her sharing her journey.
QUOTE I LOVE
Remember that you are good enough, you are smart enough, and you are talented enough. You were born with exactly what you need to chase down your biggest dreams.
Now let's go keep building our happiest lives, one day at a time!
P.S. If you have any questions for me or feedback for future editions, don't hesitate to hit reply and reach out.
P.P.S. It would mean the world to me if you forwarded this newsletter to a friend that would find this info helpful or inspiring too! (New folks can subscribe here!)
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